The ISFP Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationship Expectations

ISFPs are naturally warm, emotionally intelligent people who prefer to focus on their partner in romantic relationships. They like to make their partner happy, and will go about this in a quiet and practical manner that makes it seem easy and even natural. They need a partner who appreciates that, who sees all they do for them and expresses their appreciation and their gratitude. Otherwise they can be surprisingly sensitive and will withdraw, and their partner will have to work hard to work out what’s wrong, fix it, and bring them out of their shell once more.

Despite their dreaminess, ISFPs are surprisingly practical sometimes. They believe in action above everything else, and bring this philosophy into their relationships in every way. That’s why they prefer to express their feelings through practical means rather than verbally or through physical affection. Instead, they usually prefer to perform acts of service for their partner, using their skills to help their partner achieve their goals or just making life easier for them in some way.

Meeting Potential Partners

Despite their natural quietness, ISFPs like to explore the world. This is due to their auxiliary function, extraverted sensing, which drives them to explore every sensory experience they can find. This desire can make them unpredictable, but it also helps them to meet potential partners. ISFPs may be quiet, usually too quiet to make the first move, but this function puts them into situations where they can encounter potential partners who are more willing to take the lead in the first encounter. And this is usually how ISFPs prefer to start their relationships.

ISFPs in the Honeymoon Stage

ISFPs are usually happiest when they’re in the honeymoon stage of their relationship, and this stage can last much longer with this type than with any other. ISFPs like to take their time. They understand that emotions develop slowly and need to be nurtured and won’t be rushed into any kind of long term commitment without a lot of thought. ISFPs use introverted feeling as their dominant function. This function gives them a good understanding of other people’s beliefs and emotions, and it also means they’re driven by their own, sometimes unconscious emotions. ¹ This need to be in internal alignment can often make them seem indecisive, when they’re really just making sure a decision or choice agrees with their own sense of what’s right.

Moving Past the Honeymoon Stage

ISFPs live for the moment. They don’t usually enjoy or do very much planning for the long term, and this can be a problem in romantic relationships. A partner who is looking for a long term relationship can find themselves frustrated by the ISFPs insistence on living for the moment and refusal to commit despite their obvious happiness in the relationship. ISFPs need to learn to think a little ahead, if only so they don’t destroy a perfectly good relationship just because they don’t like to think about the long term. Learning this skill will also help them to weather the hard times in a relationship. ISFPs have a tendency to leave good relationships because they crave newness and excitement. With their preference for short term thinking, they sometimes believe that a relationship is dead just because it’s stable and a little boring. But with some long term thinking, they can learn to make changes to an otherwise good relationship when that happens, rather than just abandoning it altogether.

The ISFPs Perfect Partners

ISFPs enjoy connections with people who share their interest in exploring the world, which is why they like other personality types who use extraverted sensing. This allows them to share similar interests with their partner as well as an interest in exploring the world through their senses. It also means that both parties share a need to be fairly independent, so both are happy to give their partner some space when they need it. This works particularly well when they find a partner who’s an extraverted sensing dominant, which would make them an extravert. Choosing an extravert for a partner can help ISFPs overcome their natural quietness and learn to be more upfront with their emotions and their wants. And learning this lesson can overcome many of the problems ISFPs have in relationships.

ISFPs can also benefit from being in relationships with people who use extraverted feeling as a dominant or auxiliary. ISFPs often have trouble in their relationships because they have trouble expressing their emotions. However, people who are extraverted feeling dominants have an almost magical understanding of the emotions of the people around them. This kind of emotional intelligence can help ISFPs feel more understood in their relationships. And having a partner who can help them get clearer about their emotions and more willing to express them will encourage this type to grow in ways that are incredibly beneficial.

Final Thoughts

ISFPs are quiet people who nonetheless can make warm and attentive partners. They’re also surprisingly exciting and innovative, and will bring their adventurous spirit into every aspect of their romantic relationships, to the great enjoyment of their partners. With their strong emotional intelligence and naturally giving nature, ISFPs can have long and very happy relationships with people who appreciate all that they bring to their connection. And ISFPs have a lot to bring.

References

1. Robinson T. Michael. “Introverted Feeling (Fi) Explained“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
2. “Extraverted Sensing (Se)“. (Retrieved Jan 2018).
3. “ISFP – The Artist“.

Footnotes

1. Introverted feeling can be a very difficult function to understand and to explain to others, and it often causes users to make choices that others just can’t understand. People who use this function make decisions based on their emotional beliefs, ideas and values and this can make them very sensitive to external pressures that don’t fit with their own values.